Change. Sometimes things need to change. Once again, we sought out God's will for our family. Please bear with me while I share something from my heart. Homeschool is HARD. Being with your children 24/7 is HARD. When you are with your children all day, they see you in every situation. They see you joyful, giving, patient, tenderhearted. Sometimes...
They see the ugly, angry, sinful, tired, frustration, impatient side of Mommy. Oh, that is so nasty...so ugly...so heart breaking. My children need grace from me - the kind of grace that can only come from the Father. He loves me, corrects me, teaches me, and still showers me with blessings when I don't deserve them. What a lesson! GRACE.
For an entire school year, I felt like a failure. Why, though? My girls were succeeding in school work - working ahead in grade level, and exceeding state standards with testing, but where were our hearts? If we do something, but we do not love, we have done nothing.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:1-7
Marking a line between Mom and school teacher was so hard with Mary B and I . Our relationship has been strained over the past 9 months. Brett and I prayed fervently for God to make himself so real to us...that we would know what to do, and that there could be healing. We had researched and toured some local small Christian schools, and found one that we liked and would be a good fit for Mary B. After MUCH prayer, we both had a peace about enrolling her in the 4th grade class and continuing to homeschool Emily. Mary B's first day of school was last Wednesday.
I cannot begin to tell you how much the Lord has worked in our family over the past week. He has made himself so real to us, and for that I am so thankful. There has been so much healing...so much peace. I also know that I am not a failure. My girls love the Lord,and they love their family, and love to learn. God calls us to change. We just have to seek his will so that we know what the change is. Sometimes peace comes, and we trust and know what the change should be. Sometimes we don't understand and just have to step out on faith and trust God to show us the way. Whichever way change happens for you, keep God first. Seek Him, and He will direct your path.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.Mary B is adjusting so well to school (except for raising her hand...but that is already improving tremendously), and Emily is excelling in her school work. John Mason is just into everything and talking non stop...no need to say more. I am so glad that God's word is perfect, true, and everlasting.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6